I have been self employed ever since I graduated in 2012 and it’s one thing I am really proud of. Not only because all of the jobs I have done over the past 6 years (and there has been so many) have been in the industry I actually have a degree in, but because I organise my own work, I choose what I do and where I do it and I have an amount of freedom. There’s nothing better than feeling like you achieve something every day you go to work.
One in seven people in the UK who work are self employed. And statistics predict that number will only increase. So many mid twenties are not finding the work they want or finding themselves unable to progress as quickly as they would like so they are taking their jobs into their own hands and setting up their own dream job, which I think is pretty amazing.
It is incredible when you can do what you love doing, earn a living from it and make a difference to others too.
For me being self employed means I can avoid the mundane 9 to 5 job I fear so much and work on one project for a short length of time, which keeps me on my toes and never lets me get lazy in what I do. As cheesy as it sounds, I love nothing more than stepping out onto a stage, being someone different to me and entertaining the people who are looking for some escapism for a little while.
But being self employed is a very big contributor to my anxiety. I find it extremely difficult to switch off from work. If I have a day where I don’t do anything to contribute to my career, whether that just be to send an email or research a new role, to learn a new song or write an article, I feel like I’m being lazy and not contributing to any sort of progression in my career. Because how much you earn as a self employed person depends on how much you work, it’s hard to not feel guilt when you’re just reading a book or watching a Netflix series. It’s hard to not have your phone in your hand. It’s hard to not be thinking about what you’re going to be doing next in terms of work.
I know working as a freelancer in other industries may be different, but working as a freelance singer and performer, you don’t feel the sense that you are in control and you are your own boss. Well, not when working contractually anyway. Every job you get depends on acing an audition, on being the ‘look’ they are looking for, having the hair colour they want, even something as small as having the same shoe size to fit into your predecessor’s costume. And even when you get the job, and sign the dotted line, performer contracts almost always include a clause that basically says they can get rid of you without much of a warning or even much of an excuse. This makes me feel like I’m walking on constant eggshells; that one bum note, or bad show could be my last one.
Then there is the issue of how your social life is affected by working as a freelancer. As I have said, I find it hard to switch off. and that sometimes can become a wedge between people I am trying to spend time with. Sometimes my mind is so consumed about work, I am not fully there with them, and that can, quite rightly, piss them off. I work evenings and weekends too, which means when all my friends and family are getting in from their long day at work, I am just starting. When they have parties or weddings or nights out, I usually can’t make it. I get no holiday pay. I have no pension (I really need to set up a private one but who thinks about their pension’s in their 20’s) and I get no sick pay. If I am sick, the show must go on. I have even done shows where I have ran off, been sick into a bucket and came back onstage, as if nothing has happened. That gives you an awful feeling of no one cares about how YOU feel, and that can lead you down a very dark path.
Would I change being self employed? Would I give up my singing career for a more stable job with more sociable working hours?
I can safely say that I wouldn’t. Because when you love what you do, it doesn’t feel like work. And there’s not many people who can use their talent as their bread winner. I am so lucky that I have worked hard and found a way that I can do just that.
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